His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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