they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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