Texts From Last Night

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  (330): View more from Ohio

  well you can't waste a boner

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  (330): well you can't waste a boner http://tfl.nu/ixi5
  Replies (12) Good night (4789) Bad night (524) Order T-Shirt
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out

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  (504): i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out http://tfl.nu/wsgl
  Replies (65) Good night (1475) Bad night (4427) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.

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  (405): So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day. http://tfl.nu/zflp
  Replies (21) Good night (4674) Bad night (481) Order T-Shirt
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  (941): View more from Florida

  My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.

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  (941): My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways. http://tfl.nu/nnm9
  Replies (19) Good night (6263) Bad night (1058)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.

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  (256): FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation. http://tfl.nu/7b12
  Replies (28) Good night (1234) Bad night (7324) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.

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  (401): I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants. (401): Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean. http://tfl.nu/96j7
  Replies (29) Good night (6000) Bad night (945)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again

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  (815): If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again http://tfl.nu/myb5
  Replies (3) Good night (1466) Bad night (2507) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major

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  (480): Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major http://tfl.nu/g5od
  Replies (5) Good night (1705) Bad night (855) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.

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  (845): Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye. http://tfl.nu/5hfu
  Replies (20) Good night (1328) Bad night (2730) Order T-Shirt
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  (209): View more from California

  come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground

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  (209): come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground http://tfl.nu/qcj8
  Replies (13) Good night (731) Bad night (2204) Order T-Shirt
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  (254): View more from Texas

  you are never too drunk for berry picking

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  (254): you are never too drunk for berry picking http://tfl.nu/1gaj
  Replies (7) Good night (1365) Bad night (382) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.

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  (914): Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade. http://tfl.nu/3ila
  Replies (3) Good night (1202) Bad night (321)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.

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  (612): i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows. http://tfl.nu/9psc
  Replies (6) Good night (1155) Bad night (354) Order T-Shirt
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.

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  (765): soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it. http://tfl.nu/zcm9
  Replies (3) Good night (878) Bad night (252)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?

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  (954): I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it? http://tfl.nu/xt0t
  Replies (1) Good night (653) Bad night (355) Order T-Shirt

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