Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a search helicopter?!
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize