I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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