As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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