Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Girls should come with a carfax report
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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