hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize