"it" just moved
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
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He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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