My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
The adults are the big ones right?
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