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Me too!
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
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