you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
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He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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