how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize