are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize