You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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