Your face is a jimmy john
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize