Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
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I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
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And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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