I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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