ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
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Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
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