Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize