Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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