once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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