so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize