with your own penis?
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize