My cat gives me a boner
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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