I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize