The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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