i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize