i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
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I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
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Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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