I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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