i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
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