this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize