wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize