she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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