I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
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