You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
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he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
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Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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