I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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