My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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