i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
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I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
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