Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.

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  (734): Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics. http://tfl.nu/seve
  Replies (1) Good night (657) Bad night (1132) Order T-Shirt
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.

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  (574): Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility. http://tfl.nu/np4w
  Replies (7) Good night (635) Bad night (732) Order T-Shirt
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.

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  (504): Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown. http://tfl.nu/w5m1
  Replies (35) Good night (1960) Bad night (522) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics

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  (916): He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics http://tfl.nu/21qy
  Replies (29) Good night (2987) Bad night (3532) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?

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  (480): Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick? http://tfl.nu/0q5p
  Replies (21) Good night (4193) Bad night (886) Order T-Shirt
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  (530): View more from California

  I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!

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  (530): I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds! http://tfl.nu/6diw
  Replies (62) Good night (6551) Bad night (689) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?

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  (315): I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic? http://tfl.nu/satp
  Replies (23) Good night (4113) Bad night (1011) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times

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  (978): Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times http://tfl.nu/be2v
  Replies (14) Good night (1545) Bad night (4328) Order T-Shirt
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.

  (1-316): View more from Kansas

  Yeah I'm going to bathe him.

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  (316): I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong. (1-316): Yeah I'm going to bathe him. http://tfl.nu/s84m
  Replies (6) Good night (3693) Bad night (770)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"

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  (423): She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride" http://tfl.nu/esrx
  Replies (11) Good night (2666) Bad night (671) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis

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  (508): if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis http://tfl.nu/xw63
  Replies (5) Good night (1822) Bad night (491) Order T-Shirt
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance

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  (708): We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance http://tfl.nu/osk3
  Replies (4) Good night (3009) Bad night (422) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.

  (972): View more from Texas

  Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.

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  (817): Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift. (972): Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking. http://tfl.nu/jm0q
  Replies (23) Good night (2508) Bad night (542)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far

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  (407): I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far http://tfl.nu/ylx6
  Replies (1) Good night (654) Bad night (167) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Yea we just broke up

  (914): View more from New York

  so do we start sexting now or later?

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  (917): Yea we just broke up (914): so do we start sexting now or later? http://tfl.nu/8x1o
  Replies (12) Good night (905) Bad night (187)

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