She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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