My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize