so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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