you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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