Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I think your dad took our porno
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize