Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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