i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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