I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize