I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
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If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
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Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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