You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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